A Proverb a Day
Posted:08-07-2008Soul Station kids have been challenged to read through the book of Proverbs this summer, recording their favorite verse from each chapter, and even memorizing a few of the verses. So we have been working through the plan at our house…only very slowly. Picking a favorite verse is a serious thing for Austin, so sometimes I have to read one of the chapters two times before he can pick his favorite verse. (And, WOW, whoever noticed the chapters in Proverbs were so long until you start reading along with a seven year old!)
Anyway, last night we were in one of those sections where wise King Solomon went back and forth between “the wise man…., but the foolish man…” Every single time we read about the ways of the foolish, Austin named a person who exhibited that quality. Finally, I had had enough. So I asked if the wise man description reminded him of any people he knew (like me, for instance!) and he said, “Of course, ME!” Well, I felt like we needed to stop and go back and read all the warnings against pride and bragging and such right then.
God, however, in His own inimitable way is reminding me how, day in and day out, it is so easy for me to see the splinter in someone else’s eye, all the while walking around with a plank in my own! So I needn’t expect much more from a seven year old.
I think tonight, however, we will have a long talk……
Help Wanted
Posted:07-16-2008As we drove up to the church on Monday following our goodbye celebration for Bro. Mark, Austin asked if he could make a Help Wanted sign. I asked what he would like to do with such a sign; he replied, “Put it in the dirt by the church sign.” I asked why and he answered, “Cause we are going to need a new pastor.”
All this from the child who was too sad to write notes on Sunday morning (that excuse will only work once!) and who sniffled his way through the “farewell to Bro. Mark” evening worship service.
Austin is a clear reminder to me that so many of our kids have only had one pastor – Bro. Mark. For many, he is the one who led them to the Lord, knelt down to hug them as they stood in his presence with their parents, or even baptized them.
As the kids say good bye to a man they have sat under, learned from, and adored for the past eight years, they are also saying hello to uncertainty. Will a new pastor learn their name? Will he love them as much? Will he walk the journey with them in the same kind and patient way?
At this time it is so important that we do not make light of the questions and concerns of our children. Treat each question and concern seriously. After answering, always complete your conversation with a prayer for Bro. Mark, his family, and our new pastor.
This is also a great learning time for our children – a time to learn about how God calls men to follow Him obediently, a time to teach them to pray expectantly for what is next, a time to thank God for what has been and for what is yet to come, and a time to help our kids to focus on Jesus as the One they are following as opposed to a man.
Austin, like so many kids, was the recipient of much love and encouragement from Bro. Mark who always seemed genuinely interested in anything Austin had to say. And now, like so many other kids, Austin is trying to figure out how he’s going to get along without his pastor-friend.
I say let’s all remember to pray for our kids. May the Lord seal in their hearts their sweet memories of Bro. Mark and hold their hands and hearts until they meet their next pastor-friend.
Help with MY Homework
Posted:05-05-2008Everyday after school, I give Austin a few minutes and then we sit down together to do homework. After researching the homework issue I know that he has more than other first graders. Suffice it to say that an hour and a half barely covers it all some days. Anyway, he has this school desk and he pulls it close to me, we get out the homework box and the fun begins! And it goes on and on and on and on.......
My job is to encourage him along on the independent stuff, make him write the answers neatly, listen to him read, and then to call out all the stuff he has to study for upcoming tests.
All this to say that it occurs to me that he never once has asked me to give him this much focused attention. I just do it and have done it since the beginning of the year. (He has, however, on more than one occasion thanked me!) I don't mind it so much except that I'd rather spend the time with him walking in the park or reading what we choose.
Well recently we had guests over after school so we had homework time all together. These kids attend a different school, so there were some serious differences in their tasks. While each one of the other boys had only one worksheet, Austin had 4 worksheets, two stories to read out of one book, a book report to begin, and three tests on Friday to begin to prepare for. During the course of doing all this homework, one of the guests asked, "Do you help him with his homework everyday?” Then he nonchalantly added, “We do ours by ourselves."
At first I thought I must be a terrible mom for sitting with my child every day, but before I said anything, Austin looked up long enough to reply matter-of-factly, "Of course she does." No other words, just a quiet affirming acceptance of the fact that I will always be sitting in the chair beside him.
I started thinking that I am so glad God hangs around me even when I don't ask. And I can count on the fact that when I do pull my chair up, He will have time for me. But even bigger than that, I can know that He never leaves me alone to figure stuff out on my own.
Thank you, God, for helping me with my "homework." Sometimes the assignments seem so big, but I am grateful that I can count on You to be sitting there, helping me and encouraging me - even when I forget to ask.
Right Away, All the Way, and with a Happy Heart
Posted:04-14-2008For several years now, my standard for obedience for any child in my house has been to obey “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart.” (I am so grateful to the mom who taught it to me. It makes me remember that we as moms should always be supporting one another.) Lately, however, I’ve been wondering if it would be enough for me to expect one or the other of these standards and let the others go. Otherwise I may never reach this lofty parenting goal. For example, if I call
After pondering this for some time now, I have become convinced of these three things:
1. God- through my friend- revealed the standard. It is His expectation, not just for my child, but for me as well.
2. I’m never going to get what I don’t model. Does my child see me completing my tasks “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart?” In other words, if I want to see it in my child, I’d better BE it first.
3. Sometimes obedience comes more easily and completely if the request is wrapped in encouragement, praise, and confidence in the child’s ability to perform the task. I find the same is true for myself. I am more willing to go the extra mile for someone who believes in me.
I have the proverbial head-hitting hammer I use often. It even comes with Bible verses like, “Honor your mother so you can live a long life!” and “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might,” and “Work like you’re doing it for Jesus…” I am discovering, as a result of this pondering, that it is so much easier to bonk someone else on the head (especially if the head belongs to someone shorter than me!) than it is to stop and take a look at myself. So that’s what I’m off to do and you can be sure that I’ll be more intentional about obeying God “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart.”
Lesson Learned on the Playground
Posted:03-29-2008Spring break is over, but one lesson I learned during the week will go on and on and on….
The week was one filled with fun for our family. The Kid was out of school and his cousins were here from Texas for the week. He introduced the four year old boy cousin to internet computer games (Webkinz and National Geographic for Kids are his current favorites) and pushed the buggy filled with twin baby dolls and a cute purse for his soon-to-be-two-year-old girl cousin. There was lots more fun, too…popping long sheets of bubble wrap (my personal favorite), dancing to Crocodile Rock, making very large spider webs with scotch tape (each boy used a whole roll!) and then a fun trip to the park.
By the time we went to the park, the boys were getting a little tired of each other. The Kid said from the back seat to his cousin who was in the way back seat (strategic placement was my idea), “Hey, why don’t you run one way in the park and I will run another way. Then we don’t even have to see each other.” The boy cousin was agreeable and totally oblivious to the motives of The Kid. (It was fun to see a little later on that when the cousin was feeling bullied by another kid on the playground, he ran straight to Austin, who searched out the offender and had a good talk with him.)
Now for the real point of this whole story…..
Not long before we left the park, The Kid ran over to me and said, “Quick, I need one of those ABC things. I am talking to that kid over there about Jesus.” (He was referring to a tract we use in Soul Station to help kids understand how to be saved.) Not 15 minutes later, we were traveling home and The Kid, quite irritated by the boy cousin who was singing a Christmas song very loudly, lashed out very rudely at this cousin. Among the really smart “mommy stuff” I had to say was this: “You were just telling a stranger about Jesus and here is your cousin, a part of your family, getting nothing that sounds like Jesus from you.”
Even as the words came out of my mouth, I realized that (in the words of a wise teacher I worked with a long time ago) I had one finger pointing in accusation at The Kid and four others pointing back at me! How often do I speak “Jesus” in public and moments later I am speaking harshly and rudely with my family? It’s way more than I care to admit, but you can be sure that the short lecture that followed – the one about what a gift family is and how we need to treasure our family and speak words of loving kindness that build them up – well, those words were mostly for me.
It's A New Year...Help Them Set Their Own Goals
Posted:01-31-2008As each new year begins, I find myself considering the things that need fixed, changed, or otherwise addressed in my own life. It is not long, though, before I move on to the issues that need addressed in the lives of those I love most – my family. Specifically, for my child, I want perfect dental checkups, a cleaner room, and better grades. I want him to want to obey always, be a kind friend, and beg to know more about what Jesus wants him to be. I can get so caught up in making resolutions for others!
I have learned from years of trying this that it is difficult, at best, to get the kids in my house to buy into and be excited about the goals I set for them. They, like us adults, desire some control over what they need to improve. So I have learned that it is much better in the long run to guide them to set goals of their own. As a result, I have been pleasantly surprised at what the kids in my house have come up with as they set goals for themselves.
It’s not too late for you to guide your kids through a goal setting process this new year. All you need is a fresh notebook and some time with each child individually. Begin by writing the year at the top of the page. Then write each of the following five growth areas, leaving several lines between each: intellectual, social, spiritual, emotional, and physical.
As you begin the process, explain to your child the importance of setting goals, having a vision for his own life. Discuss Luke 2:52 and how Jesus grew. Help them to know that God designed them to grow in every area of their lives. Tell them you believe that they are old enough to seek the Lord by praying and then write what they believe God wants of them in each area. You may need to explain each growth area as well.
One at a time, guide them to write a goal for each area, then in the space below each goal, list two or three things they will need to do begin reaching that goal. Pray with your child and for your child during this process. Be a listener; you will be hearing their hearts as they set these goals. Be an encourager, helping them to know that if God calls them to do something, He will empower them as well. Remind them that the same God who told Abraham, “nothing is impossible for God,” is the same God they love and Who loves them.
This process may take a few days. Once complete, put the notebook in a special place. Periodically you will want to take it out and celebrate or further encourage progress. Put a gold star by goals achieved! Each time you take the notebook out, take time to pray through the goals again. If your child feels led to, allow him to add to or update his goals.
Next year, your child may be ready to follow this process on his own, but he will need your help in encouraging him to do it.
So go ahead, moms and dads, set some goals of your own; but let your child be responsible for his own goals.
Happy New Parenting Year!
